Toast crumbs

So, BJ and I just got home from our first Marriage Prep course, and it went fantastic! I will admit that I went in half-heartedly and didn't have the most open mind, but it wasn't as bad as I had psyched myself to believe. Actually, I learned a lot about our relationship, our faith, our love, our major issues, our fighting habits, and some ways to feel more connected.

The day started at 8 a.m. with some guest speakers. Regular couples would come in and tell their story (both happy and heartbreaking) and share what had worked and what had failed miserably in their relationships. It was very uncut and real and touching. One woman was reduced to tears as she told the class how a small squabble with her husband over shopping almost ended their relationship. She closed her speech with a story:

Her and her husband had 3 kids and worked full time jobs. The stress of day-to-day life got so overwhelming, they started focusing on what the other partner wasn't doing, instead of how much they did do. The woman said she would go into the kitchen after her husband had gone to work to find toast crumbs scattered on the countertop. She would argue with him at night, telling him that she hated cleaning them up, and that he should just use a plate to avoid the mess. The next day: more toast crumbs. The woman said it went on and on, and realized that since he wouldn't change, she needed to rethink how it made her feel. So, she started looking at it more lovingly. Every time she would see the toast crumbs, she would take a moment to be thankful that her husband was around to spend the night and be with her in the morning. The toast crumbs were no longer a nuissance, but a blessing. Awhile later, money had gotten tight, and he had to switch jobs to one that required him to be gone Monday-Thursday. She said that for a whole year, she mourned the loss of her toast crumbs.

So, be thankful for the time you have with people. Stop picking them apart, and just embrace them and their quirks. I know that I come with my fair share of toast crumbs, but I know that there is no crumb too big for BJ and me to overcome, as long as we stick together.